Mayor of Retardia

heyfunniest:

I CANT STOP LAUGHING

swifttcriss:

[friends theme starts playing softly in the distance] *drops bowl of cereal* *runs through the house* *leaps over couch* *clap clap clap clap*

amortizing:

2014 is half over and

  • -i lost no weight
  • -didn’t learn anything
  • -haven’t made an effort to save money
  • -still ugly

insanitysrequiem:

shimmy-zmizz:

Accurate

 THIS IS SO MEAN

jamescookjr:

They’re just people, Larry. They’re just women who are trying to do their best and you made them sound like… like they were…  

Criminals
me: *not religious*
me: oh my god
me: praise the lord
me: thank god
me: oh dear lord
me: jesus christ
me: good god

legfruit:

Relationship level 1: awkward flirting

Relationship level 2: getting naked

Relationship level 3: “what type of bender would i be in avatar”

rhydonmyhardon:

the furries are now adapting to aquatic warfare is no place safe?

rhydonmyhardon:

the furries are now adapting to aquatic warfare is no place safe?

sirsquidfish-thefirst:

Do you think that when Steve Rogers sneezes, one of the Avengers goes up to him and whispers, “God Bless America”
Then Steve fucking looks at them like this
image

itoldyouimbusy:

Bitch I’m on my swag

teatattoo:

NOTHING BETTER THAN SHOWERING AND PUTTING ON A BIG TSHIRT AND GETTING INTO BED WITH CLEAN SHEETS LITERALLY NOTHING DON’T FIGHT ME ON THIS